OSCAR SHOCKER

oscar

The Academy Of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences admitted today what many have long suspected — everybody in Hollywood is dead. Presenting the Oscar ceremonies tonight required the efforts of hundreds of technicians and morticians to reanimate and decorate the corpses of those in the film business.

The effort was recognized as generally successful, despite the dreadful smell of rotten flesh emanating from the Dolby Theater, located on Hollywood Boulevard in Los Angeles, where the ceremonies were held.

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