Like Blackwater and other large corporations beset by image problems, the Catholic Church is quietly exploring the possibility of a name change. Pope Benedict XVI has appointed an advisory committee composed of respected cardinals and prominent lay persons to study the issue.
Vatican spokeman Father Federico Lombardi admitted the existence of the committee yesterday, but said the Pope was far from a decision on the subject. “It's just something that needs to be considered,” Fr. Lombardi said. “I mean, let's face it, when most people hear the name 'Catholic Church' today, what they think is, 'Holy Roman Fuck Buddies', and that cannot be good for the church's mission on earth, which is to provide satisfying but innocent companionship for adult males in holy orders who want to spend quality time with young, attractive boys.”
Names under consideration by the committee include “The Pastoral Party-Time League” and “The Jesus Playhouse Group”, though insiders say that the Pope himself is leaning towards “Big Peter's Boys Club International”, because, as the Pope is reported to have said, “It makes me feel all wiggly inside.”