It's been reported that ACORN, a nationwide syndicate of community organizations, has submitted voter registrations for a number of fictional characters, including some, like Mickey Mouse, who are animated figures.  John McCain and Sarah Palin have drawn attention to the serious threat this poses to the American way of life.  “Suppose Mickey Mouse shows up at a polling place in Ohio?” Palin asks.  “Will his vote be counted?  Will a ballot submitted by a cartoon character affect the outcome in this important battleground state?”

When the McCain campaign was asked how an animated character could physically enter a voting booth and cast a ballot, a spokesman directed reporters' attention to the film Who Framed Roger Rabbit?, which demonstrated that cartoon characters could interact with live human beings.

Meanwhile reports have leaked from Sarah Palin's campaign that, if elected, she would urge the establishment of “concentration compounds” for women identified as practicing witchcraft on U. S. soil.  According to insiders, Palin intends to allow witches to leave the country voluntarily — however, if they refuse, she believes they should be placed on large barges which would be towed out to sea and sunk.  Privately, she blames witches for “cursing her tongue” and preventing her from speaking coherent English sentences on the campaign trail.

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